


Two Sides of the Same Coin

by s179_276sp



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s03 e16 RAM, Harold likes lists, How Do I Tag, List with no particular order, M/M, Not Beta Read, Some angst, Some feels, Spoilers for all seasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 01:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12180618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s179_276sp/pseuds/s179_276sp
Summary: John Reese is a very different man than Rick Dillinger. Harold Finch knows that. Let him list the ways.





	Two Sides of the Same Coin

John Reese is a very different man than Rick Dillinger. Harold Finch knows that. Yet Rick Dillinger was more similar to John Reese than he wanted to remember. Harold can list eighty-six points of similarity and differences. It had begun almost immediately – this reflex to compare John and Dillinger. Harold didn’t fight the instinct. Error messages appear for a reason and he has learned to never ignore them, no matter how persistent or irritating. Only the paranoid survive.

#32 – Appearance. The two men look eerily alike. This was not a conscious decision, which worried Harold. Does this mean he has a type? Oh dear. Yet there was no real competition – John is the clear winner. He looks like a marble statue of a Greek god in a museum – worn in some places, pits and nicks in others, untouchable and unattainable, yet priceless and worthy of admiring. 

#67 – Liquid Consumption. Both drank their coffee black. Both tried to loop Harold in by bringing coffee. One discovered his love of Sencha green tea without having to be told. One said Black Chai was ‘close enough.’ One sets the steaming paper cup with a gentle thud next to his head when he accidentally falls asleep in front of his monitors. One drugged his tea and left him out cold on the floor.

#6 – Gratitude. Harold Finch is not in this for the thanks. But he does enjoy improving lives. When Dillinger thanked him for the job, he was holding a gun at Harold. It was such a bizarre moment. When he heard the words ‘thanks for the job’ again, it was said with such conviction the world seemed to slow down a tick. There was no sarcasm or malice. It was just John. In a diner. Being honest. Being thankful.

#85 – Past Mistakes. Harold Finch is a strong believer that a person’s past should not define their present or future. Unless, of course, they had committed a criminal offense. When he scoured files and faces for a partner, he would not allow himself to dwell on the records. Look at the current man, he told himself. Dillinger was military with extra training. There was nothing special or anything worrisome. Had he killed people? Of course. Whose hands were truly clean? Certainly not John Reese’s. Harold could use the most expensive luxurious soap on those big calloused hands and scrub forever before John would feel pure again. But John never stopped striving for atonement. John was figuratively holding out his hands palms up, begging, pleading, for cleansing.

#74 – Passion. There was a fire to John that burned strong. It was the passion that led him to continue taking the Numbers – to keep getting shot at and punched and kidnapped and stabbed. It was what drove him to keep going despite blood loss, perceived failure, and emotional baggage. It was a beautiful thing to behold. It rubbed off on Harold – kept him going too. Harold had Dillinger to thank for helping him walk. It was not a pleasant experience, but circumstances forced Harold off the floor and out of the Library for his first unassisted steps since the Incident. Yet John hadn’t helped Harold walk – he had been doing that by himself just fine for a while. John helped Harold to fly, to soar, much like his namesakes. Harold reached out for more; to help more; to live more. John shared his fiery spirit without even knowing it. There was no such fire in Dillinger. 

#11 – Gentleness. Harold is keenly aware of what receiving pity feels like. He doesn’t like it. He is disabled. He visibly limps. He cannot turn his neck or twist his upper back. Most people draw away from the disabled – uncertain of what to do, how to help. John Reese stepped into Harold’s life and never stopped doing so. He never made Harold feel like less of a Human. He pushed him gently, tenderly, to make sure Harold was okay. He never wretched his supporting arm away from a man in a wheelchair. He treats the Numbers gently and with dignity. Men, women, old, young, sick, healthy – they all receive the same respect until proven guilty. He doesn’t have sex with traumatized women as a form of ‘payment’ for saving them. His natural instinct is to go above and beyond for these strangers. Harold finds that magnetizing. 

#86 – Financial Matters. Harold Finch has a lot of money. There have been points where he cannot even keep track of it all. John Reese was broke and homeless. Rick Dillinger…well, oddly he always seemed to have enough throughout the years. Harold paid the men well for their services. Dillinger asked for raises. He was focused on earning money. It was quite literally a job for the man. And John? John gave ninety percent of his earnings to charities, specifically homeless shelters. He lived out of hotels until Harold bought him an apartment as a gift. Besides his extensive excessive artillery, John did not spend extraneously. Harold was the one who made sure there was another suit in the closet for the next Number. Now Harold does not mind paying people for work or giving gifts. But greedy people? Well, they have no place in his life.

#20 – Decision-making. Harold doesn’t like violence, guns, bombs, or anything that can hurt another person. He recognizes that these are occasionally a necessary evil in the right hands. Dillinger never had the right hands. He shot with reckless abandon. Sometimes Harold will hear someone sharpening a blade and see one in the hands of a man in Library he doesn’t trust explaining where he got it from. Someone who doesn’t listen when he says to stop. John Reese likes guns a lot. Probably more than what is healthy, even for an ex-CIA operative. John enjoys a good fight. He sometimes seeks them out. But when Harold recommends a more peaceful course, John is inclined to listen. They discuss it – weigh the pros and cons – like good partners do. John does what Harold cannot; will not do. It’s a good partnership.

#2 & 3 – Loyalty and Protection. These two go hand in hand in Harold’s mind. John protects him because he is loyal to him. Harold is loyal to John because he’s seen this in action. John would, without contemplating, give his life for Harold. Finch doesn’t have to see him do it to know. It’s in his eyes especially after difficult Numbers. What made two gun-shy men trust each other so explicitly? Was it the rooftop shooting? The storage unit on fire? Was it John single-mindedly chasing and rescuing his employer, his friend, from an insane woman – even giving the Machine an ultimatum in doing so? The gunshot wounds? The ticking bomb strapped onto John’s strong chest with Harold’s shaking fingers so near? Or was it the little things? Like Harold trusting John with the knowledge of Grace? Or John forgiving Harold for impacting his life unknowingly? Was it the intimacy of patching each others’ wounds in the quiet of the Library? Was it when John shoved a slobbering odorous dog at his pristine boss with the promise that Bear would eat anyone who looked at Harold wrong? What was the exact moment that made these two men so loyal and protective of each other, when they passed by thousands of others without a bother?

#26 – That Sarcasm with That Voice. What is Harold to say? That he dislikes when John drops his voice to a low rumble and flirts with him? He’d have to be mad. Dillinger had teased him. There was the beginning of a casual friendship going on between them. The man could be light-hearted one moment, then sharp and hurtful the next. Harold was too wounded for that at the time. But John. Now John knew how to make Harold sigh with (mostly) mock frustration and chuckle quietly to himself. And their banter was so fulfilling and so excellent. It kept Harold sharp. Kept him alert. It made him keep the phone line open; listening always to John’s steady breathing, the grunts and groans of a fight, a breathless chase, those random one-liners, occasionally a wistful sigh: the sounds of John Reese existing were enough to get Harold by. Then he was blessed with a quip in that voice and all was right in the world.

#55 – Status. John Reese is not dead. He is very much alive. Rick Dillinger is not alive. He is very much dead. So much had run through Harold Finch’s mind as he dug a grave in Central Park that chilly night. What was lost to him. What he had to rebuild. Where he would go from here. How he had failed this man. And what of the compassionate CIA gentleman from earlier? Harold focused on that instead of the cold heavy body on the ground. The next man – Harold swore to himself, to the Machine, to whoever was listening – he would keep safe and sound and out of the ground.

#4 – Privacy. ‘I’m a very private person.’ If he was a superhero, that’d be his catchphrase. It hadn’t sit right with Dillinger. The man demanded too much too soon for Harold’s tastes. It had been a warning bell. Then the bugging, the drugging, the betrayal…it was all so disrespectful and intrusive. It left Harold feeling empty and robbed. John Reese was in the business of privacy. He knew when to press for information and when to stop. In the beginning, Harold was tense and on guard. But John was nothing if not tenacious and somehow he crept past the firewalls constructed so neatly. Eggs Benedict had been the catalyst. Slowly they tumbled into going out together for dinner, to the movies, for a walk (it helped having a dog together as motivation), to John’s for a home cooked meal, to some of Harold’s business events where he could bring a plus-one. It was a tedious process of give and take; a bit of trust here, a bit over there. Harold found he didn’t mind. In fact, he liked what they were building together. 

#1 – Love. Rick Dillinger was not loved. He was not even liked. He was tolerated as a necessary tool to complete a mission. Nothing more. Harold did not anticipate liking his next partner. What he and Nathan had had was rare and treasured. Dillinger proved that for a certainty. Then John Reese joined him for a conversation under a bridge on a bench. Trust, loyalty, privacy, and friendship were established. Sure, there were moments that rocked the boat. But they always evened out. Harold felt comfortable with where they were as a couple. As a couple. And that’s when the wave of realization hit him. Feelings he hadn’t acknowledged surfaced. Doubts clung to him. Emotions swirled angrily. Then he did it. He let that all go. He focused on the one steady feeling, the one constant emotion. Love. Harold loved this man with every piece of his mind and body, even the artificial ones. He kept his mind on that blatant fact that he and John worked perfectly together. Like piecing computer components together – they fit together like a USB sliding into a port. While that overtly visual image made him blush a little, it made absolute sense. Somehow, through the mess of their lives, they found each other. Broken, in pain, paranoid – they still worked together. They were healing in each others’ company. 

Harold loved John. Harold knew John. And John was everything to him. Thanks to a Number and a fickle partner, they are together. They have a chance for a future. And Harold has every intention of flying into it with John at his side. Always.

**Author's Note:**

> I recently finished watching Person of Interest for the second time around and Season 3 Episode 16 hit me hard in the feels. These two boys are just so perfect together. I've been reading as many fics as I can find and wanted to contribute. Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> Note: Not beta read. I do not own these characters.


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